The Wife Carrying World Championships 2024
By Stuart Johnson - winning carrier of the UK Wife Carrying Race 2024, with Hattie Cronin
Race Day
The stage is set. Sonkajärvi - home to 3000 people and one street with every amenity you’ll ever need - has stepped up for this year’s World Championships. Previous occasions saw the 253m obstacle course lined by a gravel track with sand pits under each of the log hurdles, not ideal if you are risk averse. This year we are treated to a brand new athletics track - and we, the athletics nerds, are buzzing. This means speed without the spinal.
Practice
Eukonkanto is essentially a two day festival with races and live music. So getting there early on the main event day is a must if you want to take advantage of the practice session. The water feature is closed for practice, but if competitors are that keen to trial getting wet they can sign up to the Sprint event (just the water feature and one corner) or the Team Relay (three carriers, one wife, with the added obstacle of each carrier having to chug a bottle of seltzer mid-race).
Team GB took to the log-jumps with joy, reminded of steeplechase and track hurdles technique, where the aim is to hit them with momentum and confidence. According to the seasoned carriers, this year’s edition is lower than usual and not conducive for vaulting with an arm planted. We’re now less concerned with issues occurring here, but the water jump is still an unknown. From visual inspection, the pit is long and we can’t quite gauge the depth. We have a wise American, who has tackled this in the Sprint race the night before, step-in and coach us. His top-tip, get there first and stick to the middle else you are going to be wrestling the sloped sides and gravity.
Following many mental rehearsals of what may be a victory run the practice session finishes.
The Weigh-in
Official equipment: Electronic scales in the privacy of aircraft hangar. Wives (or partners, significant others, captives) have the pleasure of being filmed by the media during their weigh-in. 49kg is the accepted minimum. That’s equivalent to …a small hippo, a large squirrel, or nine dinners with your mother-in-law. Under this weight and partners will be donning weighted backpacks to make up the difference.
Eleventh hour hero
Team America, with high hopes for conquering all events, had one carrier incur injury from tackling the water jump during the relay event. The fear of potential damage rises once again. The lesson to learn, we find, is bending your knees when landing to avoid jarring oneself. This Team USA couple are left with a tearful wife lacking a husband to carry them to victory, despite having a 14-year old son ready and willing to step into his fathers shoes. Alas, the events T&C’s prevent the underaged would-be racer from participation. Luckily this is Sonkajarvi and here the call for volunteers to hoist another man’s wife over your shoulder is quite easily answered. Team USA is back up and running with the husband substituted by a heroic member of the crowd. Disaster averted.
Main event!
Contestants ready. Krakens ready.
Team GB is couple #32 in the running order.
Stuart takes to warming-up and down over and over for nearly an hour while the other contestants shuffle through the starting line. Hattie analyses the competition while holding off on lunch to remain light. The Finnish commentators clearly having a great time coming up with jokes to align with whatever hobbies contestants have given.
Stuart’s perspective:
Staring down the track, the starter pistol goes and we’re off! All other thoughts turn off and a surreal tunnel vision takes over. All there is to do is move it. The water jump approaches and with a superb foot placement, on a sturdy edge, we launch. There’s a brief out-of-body experience as we hurtle through the air before emptying the contents of the pool. We regain footing, churn legs and arms as if in a vat of butter but rapidly reach the end and ascend the sides that have dropped so many others. The relief waves over knowing that the Hattie backpack has held on with an unflinching grip despite being essentially waterboarded. The internal monologue speaks up: go, go, go! We carve around the outer-back bend and take the corner wide without stress or snapping an ankle (one of the many considered possible injuries).
The first hurdle races towards us. We have speed; we have confidence - both come to an abrupt end as the first leg strides over and the trailing leg begins to slide. My thigh slams into the log and I begin to stumble. All thoughts turn to “pleeeeeasssse don’t fall over while we livestream to the World”. There’s a split second as I try to regain balance with an abnormal centre of gravity before resetting and shooting off once again. We’re burning down the finishing funnel, one hurdle to go and with the timing clock in full view. It’s approaching the Lithuanian’s time. We clear the second log without any difficulties. We’re over and just need to spin the lactic legs through to the line. Though they’re moving like those familiar dreams of wading through the invisible custard. A few more steps and we cross the finish. Hattie is returned to vertical and has no damage. Success! The clock reading only +8s on the to-be World Champion time. Absolutely stoked. Now to have some beer.
Hattie’s perspective:
I wave at the crowd as we’re introduced and then assume the tried and tested Estonian hold.
Off we go!
Upside-down thoughts and sounds proceed to emanate from me, thus:
??uno?s?p '?nq '?lp?n? '?nq '?nq '?lp?n?
Wet
?nq '?nq '?nq '?u?u?o?p ????q '?nq '?nq '?nq '?nq '?nq …u???
Followed by a mostly successful effort to stand up without falling over.
And that’s a wrap!
We finished in 5th place with a time of 1:11.60, a mere 8.096 seconds away from eternal glory. First place went to the Lithuanian couple with a time of 1:03.512. The race was overall an awesome experience with a fantastic following of lovely individuals.
Will you be back next year? Mibbe, aye.
Kiitos!
